My days in Patna!

Recently, I was having a conversation with a colleague who mentioned he was from Patna, Bihar. That instantly brought back memories of my own time in Patna. As I began sharing my experiences with him, he was surprised by how much I remembered. It made me realize that before age catches up with me and these memories begin to fade, I should document them—and hence, this blog.

It was the year 1997—I can’t quite recall the exact month. We were living in a little town in Karnataka. My father worked at a bank, my mother was a homemaker, my brother was in 7th standard, and I was just a 3rd standard kid. One evening, my father came home with a proud smile and announced that he had been promoted. He had worked so hard for it, and our hearts swelled with joy. The happiness in our home was infectious—we celebrated that moment for what felt like an entire month. 

About a month later, my father received his transfer orders following the promotion. I suppose my parents knew this was coming, but they hadn’t expected the new posting to be in Patna. I could sense the tension in the house, but as a child, it was hard to fully understand what was happening—let alone have a say in it. My parents decided to leave my brother at our aunt’s house (a story for another blog altogether), as they didn’t want his education to be disrupted. Since I was still very young, they chose to take me along with them.

We dropped my brother off at our aunt’s house. I remember that day vividly—it felt like a nightmare. We were all very emotional. We had to travel by train—it was a three-day journey. Our journey began from Bangalore, and I was especially excited because it was my first time traveling by train. We were in a 2-tier AC coach, which felt fancy to me with its curtains and cozy setup. My mother had packed enough lunch and snacks to last us for two days, and for the third day, we relied on meals from the railway catering service. 

I remember the day we arrived—the temperatures were soaring. Coming from South India, we weren’t used to that kind of scorching heat. My parents were anxious, especially given all the stories we’d heard about Bihar back then. My mother held my hand tightly and didn’t let go the entire time. The moment we stepped out of the railway station, we were struck by the state of the city—it wasn’t the most welcoming first impression. We took a ride in a cycle rickshaw, pulled by an elderly, frail man. Watching him struggle in the heat left us feeling even more unsettled and disheartened. On the other hand, I was in awe of the tall buildings and broad main roads—something I had never seen before, having never lived in a capital city until then.

My father had visited Patna a month earlier to finalize a house for us, so we went straight there upon arrival. It was a semi-apartment setup with around six homes in total. The owners lived on the ground floor, and our house was on the first floor, along with three other units. The owner's family gave us a warm welcome—they offered us a whole box of sweets and some buttermilk. Meanwhile, the neighbours looked at us rather curiously.

The first few days were not easy for any of us. Each of us faced our own set of challenges. My father had to understand and adapt to the work culture in Bihar, which was quite different from what he was used to. My mother, who didn’t speak Hindi, struggled a lot with everyday tasks like buying groceries, vegetables, and managing other household needs.

My struggles at school are something I can never forget. Until then, I had been studying in a Kannada medium school in Karnataka, so I didn’t know English or Hindi. I had to learn both languages just to understand the other subjects. On top of that, the school in Patna followed the CBSE curriculum, whereas I had studied under the Karnataka State Board until 3rd grade which is considerably easier. When we went for my admission, the school principal was initially unwilling to admit me into 4th grade due to these gaps. My father, however, pleaded with her and assured her that his daughter was bright and would catch up quickly. She agreed and I got admissions. The actual problems started after that.

On my first day at the new school, I didn’t know a single person. The environment was completely unfamiliar. In every class, the teachers tried to speak to me, but I couldn’t understand a word they said. They tried both English and Hindi, and when that didn’t work, they even resorted to gestures. I was too scared and overwhelmed to respond to that as well.

I still remember the mathematics class clearly. We had a male teacher who asked me to write down the multiplication tables. I had no idea what 'tables' meant—it was referred to by a different word in Kannada. Thankfully, there was another boy in the class who spoke Kannada—(his father had also been transferred to Patna, just like mine). He understood English and translated for me. I quickly wrote the tables up to 20, while most of the class only knew them up to 15. The teacher was impressed and asked the whole class to clap for me. That moment remains the highlight of my entire school journey in Patna.

My first test results were terrible—single-digit scores in every subject except for Math. I could barely read, understand, or write the answers in the other subjects because of the language barrier. That evening, my mother lost hope that I would be able to cope. She felt helpless and was almost certain we should pack our bags and return to Karnataka—though I’m sure part of it was also because she missed my brother terribly.

My father, on the other hand, remained resilient. He comforted both of us and reassured us that everything would be fine. He promised that three years would pass in the blink of an eye and that we’d be back in our homeland before we knew it.

Gradually, I began making friends both at school and in the neighborhood. They weren’t very welcoming at first, but once I started learning the language and getting along with them, they began including me in their games and conversations. I also started doing well in my studies at school. Bit by bit, I grew more comfortable and slowly began to enjoy my time in Patna.

A South Indian Cultural Association was formed by South Indians living in Patna. We held quarterly events where we showcased our talents through singing, dancing, and drama performances. For us kids, it was mostly an excuse to gather and play around. I also made a lot of friends there. There was also a separate Kannada Sangha that organized similar programs on a monthly basis. I had a wonderful opportunity to participate in these events, which taught me a lot and helped me build the confidence to perform on stage.

We traveled quite a bit during our time in Patna. One of the highlights was visiting Nepal—I went twice, once with my family and once with other South Indian families (I like to think of that second trip as my first solo international adventure 😄). We also explored many famous places in Bihar, including Gaya, Bodh Gaya, Nalanda, Rajgir, and of course, local spots around Patna. Additionally, we visited neighbouring states like Uttar Pradesh and West Bengal, creating memories that I still cherish.

Talking about the food in Patna brings back some of my fondest memories—it’s truly one of my favourite topics. Even as I write this, my mouth is watering. My all-time favourite was the samosa from a little eatery called Santhusthi. That sweet and tangy chutney served alongside would completely melt my heart—every bite felt like pure joy. A close second was the sattu paratha made by the kind aunty who owned the house we lived in. Whenever she prepared it, she’d tell my mother not to pack lunch for me, insisting on sending it herself—and those moments felt nothing short of bliss.

Three years flew by and it was time for us to get back to where we belonged. We left the city with heavy hearts—I remember crying. It’s never easy to say goodbye to a place that had been home for three years. The initial months after leaving were tough, but the memories we took with us made it all worthwhile. Patna influenced me deeply, shaping my perspective and giving me a unique edge. Looking back, the time I spent there remains one of the golden chapters of my life, forever etched in my heart 💖

How I met the man!!!

It all started after I completed 1 year of working and earning as an individual. I had strictly told my parents not to search a groom for me till I complete 1 year of my career. They kept their word and now it was my turn. So, I had to tell yes to start seeing guys for marriage.

Why arranged marriage, first reason obviously I did not have any boyfriend or serious relationship. Second reason, I do not trust my decisions. Third and most important I had seen my parents happily married for 30 years .Theirs was an arranged marriage. It’s not only them, my relatives, my close cousins most of them had arranged marriage and all of them were happy .They all seemed they were made for each other. I had decided mine will be an arranged marriage. I hadn’t to take any tension because it was my parent’s trouble to find the guy.

My work seemed quite easy, go meet the guy and let my parents know if I like him. But it wasn’t really that easy. It was my decision that finally matters was what my parents had told me. So the hunt began, like what happens in every other arranged marriages, get ready traditionally (u know what I mean saree, bindi, flowers etc.), visit the guy’s home, smile, greet them, talk softly, be good, and take his parents blessings. This is what happens in all first meets of arranged marriage.

The biggest question going on in my mind was how will I know which guy Is good for me ?which family is good ?How can I decide who my life partner will be in just one meet? Trust me it’s the most difficult decision of your life. I guess everyone in an arranged marriage goes through this.

The guy I finally married was not the first few guys I met for marriage. But when I went to meet him, I remember I went with my brother, it was a different feeling. Different atmosphere unlike the others. He was sitting on a sofa diagonally opposite to me, I felt like I knew him before. My mind knew it is the first time I am seeing him’ but my heart felt a connection. Interaction with his parents also did not seem new either. My brother who is actually a silent person, that day spoke so much; I myself had not heard him speak that much in my entire life. I felt I belong here like the missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle .It’s an instinct that comes to you; you get a positive feeling about everything around you. You do not have reasons why you finally say yes but it just comes from within. You feel happy, you indeed feel blessed. You get a feeling like this is it, this is where you belong. May be this is why people say marriages are made in heaven.

It’s almost a year now I am married, I am happy just like my parents are :-) (may be even more)The feelings that came from nowhere on that day for a stranger seem so right today. I sit back and think how it was so easy to take such a difficult decision. Believe in your instinct is what I want to convey. It always works!!!

Incomplete First Love Story...

This is my first attempt at writing a fiction blog. I don’t know how good or bad it is going to turn out to be. Hopefully all you folks reading this will like it.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

It is a Saturday night, Pranita and Ashok are done with their dinner. Pranita puts their three years old son to bed and is back in living room, its Ashok’s turn to do the chores today so she is resting on sofa in their living room after the long day it had been. They are very happy contented couple, they feel very lucky to have found each other. Ashok is a supportive and loving husband and Pranita makes a good wife and a caring mother. Her cellphone beeps, it’s a Facebook update for some game request. She gets irritated but keeps scrolling to see other updates. There flashes the name Abhinav Singhania, it’s his picture with wife by the side. She ignores the woman in the pic and looks at Abhinav, she has the same feeling, same adrenal rush that she had when she first saw him 15 years ago.

Pranita was in PUC 1^ST year and Abhinav was her senior in the next class. She hadn’t met him until their roll numbers were written on the same bench for an exam. She was already sitting there all prepared for the exam, then he appeared and sat beside her. She saw him at a glance and there he was tall, fair and handsome, looks that she couldn’t ignore, looks she was impressed by. She had a strange feeling she didn’t know of. The question papers were circulated, it was difficult for her to concentrate on the exam but she somehow managed to finish it well.

He was on her mind for the rest of the day. She had to study for the next subject but all she could think about was him. She had to sit beside him for the next 5 days, she had to prepare for that as well. She tried her level best to ignore him and study for her next subject in the night. Next day she wanted to look good, she did her last minute preparations for the exam as she felt the guilt of not studying well previous day. She entered the class and saw him already sitting on their bench, she quietly went and sat on her part of the bench. And then he said Hi, she didn’t expect it, she replied Hi without looking at him. He wished her all the best and she just said same to you. These were the only two sentences they spoke. She had some sort of excitement for each of the exams, she couldn’t define those emotions: they were all together new for her. The last day she took lot of courage and said bye and happy holidays. He looked back, their eyes met, it was magical. They stared at each other for some time and then he just said bye when one of his friends called out for him.

She had this last image of his in her mind throughout the vacations. All she wanted was to be back in college, this was the first time she wanted the vacations to end. During these holidays when she met her friends, she told them about the feelings she had for this guy. Some friends who knew him told her all the good things about him and they all teased her. She felt good, she felt happy, and she couldn’t stop blushing. She was turning from a girl to a young lady. She had the desire to see him again.

This next one year was one crazy for her. Whenever they crossed each other, he stared at her and she blushed. She looked at him and turned away when he looked back. She couldn’t control her smile when she saw him. Any occasion in college, may it be annual day, sports day or college trips when students from all classes would gather, her friends would tease her and his friends would tease him. She would be happy but she never had the guts to express her feelings towards him, or she was too young to understand those feelings. Then it was time he completed his PUC and left for Degree College and that was the end of this incomplete first love story of Pranita. They both shared an unshared expression of love, which she realizes now.

Pranita isn’t aware, she is resting on the sofa with her eyes closed and smile on her face. Ashok comes back to living Room after all his household works and is happy to see Pranita like that. He sits beside her and puts his hands around her. She is back to reality now and when Ashok asks what she was thinking about, she tells him the whole story and he smiles back saying “I am happy you didn’t talk to Abhinav, else you wouldn’t be with me right now.” She hugs him and says “I am happy too” 

The Men in my life!!!

We always talk or read about role of woman in a man's life. What she goes through???What she sacrifices???What is her contribution in a man's life but very less about men. As women play an important role in man’s life, the vice-verse also is true. Men have been around from the time I was born, may it be my dad, my brother, my husband, my father-in-law, my brother-in-law, my colleagues, my friends etc. Each one of them play a vital role in my life and has contributed in one way or the other. So I thought why not write about them and appreciate what they have done and have been doing for me, hence here I am writing about the men in my life.

When I was born, I am sure my dad was the happiest person. He gave me life, nurtured me, taught me, dressed me, held me, and shouted at me but most importantly he loved me unconditionally. As I grew up, saw him change for me. I cannot remember a single time he refusing to buy me something I demanded for; instead there were times when things were in front of me even before I asked for them. When I did well in my academics, he used to be the proudest one. He did his best to make sure my wedding was the best one. Never compromised on anything related to me. He has been a great support to me throughout my life and still is. There are not enough words to describe just how important my father is for me and what a powerful influence he continues to be.

I am very lucky to have an elder brother. He has played with me, made me cry, pulled my hair, pampered me, stood up for me, fought with me, fought for me and has made me a strong person. He has been a very protective brother. He always encouraged me if I wanted to do anything new, whatever it might me, he always boosted my confidence. When he started working, the gifts from him made be so happy. Brother is a person who is there when you need him, someone who picks you up when you fall; a person who sticks up for you when no one else will.

When I met my husband, I knew I had met my soul mate. His love, his passion, his concern, his commitment towards me is unmatchable. My husband has made me laugh, wiped my tears, hugged me tight, watched me succeed, seen me fall, cheered me on, and kept me going strong. He cannot see me sad for a moment. He makes sure I am happy the all the time. He is always there beside me when I want to share my sorrows, I have a shoulder to put my head down and cry. When I am happy just sharing it with him increases the happiness. My husband is a promise from god that I will have a best friend forever.

When it comes to my father-in-law, he treats me like a daughter. He feels it is his responsibility to make sure I am comfortable and happy in his home. You may hear many women complain about mother-in-law but hardly anybody about a father-in-law. My brother-in-law is like my younger brother from another mother. He makes me laugh, keeps teasing me round the clock. They are always helpful. Both of them make me feel so much like at my home.

When I joined the IT industry as a fresher four years ago, I was the only girl among 10 guys in the team(I had all the advantages and benefits) .They helped me adapt to the corporate world, they helped me learn technologies, safeguarded me for my initial mistakes in front of leads or managers and always made sure I leave office at right time.

The friends I had in my school and college cannot be forgotten. School and college life would have been boring if these guys were not around. You might have had many friends who are girls but they might have been jealous of you for some reason or might talk behind your back at some point but that is not the case with boys. A girl might think twice before offering to help u when you need it but a guy friend will always be there for you.

I am thankful to all these men in my life for whatever contribution in whichever form they have done for me. When we have been receiving so much from men why not appreciate it. They are with us in every step of life. A brother sacrifices his chocolates for his sister, a son sacrifices his dreams for parent’s happiness, a lover spends his money for the lady he loves just to see her smiling, a father sacrifices his time for his wife and children by spending hours together at work to make his family financially strong. Yes, we women are very strong and we do not depend on them for anything but their support makes us even stronger, their care makes us feel special. This blog is dedicated to all those men who play different roles in each woman’s life.

Soul Sisters

Seems like I am on a writing spree these days, otherwise I usually keep looking for topics and end up writing nothing. As much as I enjoy writing, it is sometimes difficult to figure out what to write about. I have been wanting to write about this particular topic from a long time but was not getting the flow of it. Now my thoughts are aligned and I am writing with great joy,  I hope you as a reader also enjoy reading it as much.

Where do I start? Who are soul sisters anyway? Google says "a woman whose thoughts, feelings, and attitudes closely match those of another; a kindred spirit." and that's exactly how I would define my soul sisters. I have two amazing soul sisters in my life, one is my sister-in-law (my brother's wife) who I will address as SIL in short and other is my co-sister (my husband's brother's wife) in short COSIS.

My SIL is born on same day, same month just a year after I was born. we share the same (rashi)zodiac sign and our (nakshatra)stars are same. We even share the same nickname at home. She got married to my brother exactly a year after my marriage. So, it was more like she was my replacement in my maika (mom's home). I call this destiny. we connected instantly and we are so alike in everything may it be thinking, behaviour, attitude, dressing, taste in food, even the TV shows and web series interests are alike; anything and everything our wavelengths match. whenever I am in doubt about myself, she is first one I reach out to. She is always there to guide me, support me, nurture me, and encourage me. She has constantly helped me take the right decisions about smaller and bigger things in life.

My COSIS is my best friend. I am not sure if we were destined to be soul sisters, but we made it happen. We are not alike, our thinking does not match, we did not connect well initially, we had a rocky start in our relationship. Now when I am writing about it, I am so glad all that happened. How else would have I found my best friend for life. We have gone through so much as co-sisters and all this has only made us stronger, closer, and inseparable. Now we are partners in crime, shopping buddies, moral boosters, crying shoulders, laughing ladies and what not. She is fun, fierce, transparent, lives in the moment, she is my style guru (If I look good in any of the pictures, all credits to her) and best of all she is always there for me. 

Something in common about both, they are both like my sisters from different mothers. I never feel lonely, never felt the need of a sister, they have my back no matter what. We motivate each other at all times. we are fitness enthusiasts(whatever little we do). I am truly blessed to have them in my life. The way they care for my daughter, it’s truly unbelievable. They stand as a rock for her, and she is so attached to them. She shares a special bond with them, I even get jealous of their bonding sometimes. What more can I ask for?

In general, to everyone who is reading this, if you have sister-in-law, co-sister or even friends/ neighbours and things are not right, just resolve them. Life is too short to keep grudges. Mend those fences and if you are lucky as I am, maybe you too will find your soul sisters. 

Being the plus size ++

I was plumper kid in school, I remember everyone pulling my cheeks and saying 'kitni golu molu hai.' I kinda felt good that time.I thought people liked it and its a good thing being golu molu. I see the pics today I feel I really looked cute with all the chubby cheeks :-) I was not all that fat literally just a lil over weight.

As the days passed and I reached high school, this was the time I put on a lot of weight. The guys in the class would make fun of me being hefty. They called me elephant, hippo, called me names of some WWF players etc. I din like it. I felt deeply hurt. I didn't know what to do about it. What was my fault in being fat and what is there to make fun if someone is fat. I used to ask these questions to my mom with moist eyes :-( She used to console me by saying, "As you grow up and start going to college you will have to study more, you will loose weight and you are gonna look very pretty". I believed in her and ignored all the teasing. I was a bright student, concentrated on my studies and did very well in all the exams.

College days started and I wasn't becoming any lean, instead put on more.Hardly bothered about how I looked  and this weight concern was not on my mind at all as I was completely involved in my studies. During Engineering, it somehow happened that all my friends were also fat and great foodies. We all just loved eating out. I was so busy having fun in all four years of engineering, loosing weight was far from reality.

The real story of my blog title starts only after I came to Bangalore five years ago. I was astonished to see so many pretty girls walking around in pretty clothes in all parts of the city. I too wanted to be one of them.The desire to become thin hit my minds and as i told you i believed in my mom's words, I thought I am gonna look pretty if i loose weight. I enrolled to gym the very next day and the no chocolate,no sweets story started. I started watching my weight everyday, strict diet, no eating out, no pizzas, just fruits and vegetables. I could see the results and compliments I received from everyone kept me going. I was inspired to continue to loose more weight.

Yes, I lost around 18 kilos. I knew I looked great. I could wear any dress and pull it off well. I fell in love with myself. Its a great feeling to hear 'You look beautiful' from different people on every single day. I got married during this phase, I looked awesome that day and our marriage album has my pictures when i looked my best in my entire lifetime :-)

After marriage, during pregnancy and delivery I gained all the weight that I had shed two years ago. I have lost the pregnancy weight but I do not wish to loose more. I know I can do it again with my previous experience but something stops from doing that.

Here I stand today after one year of having a baby, fat and happy. Yes, you read it right I am happy being the plus size. I wear whatever I like, I eat what I feel like eating. I crack jokes on myself being fat. I have been both fat and thin, and I have come to conclusion, you don't have to either fat or thin to look good. Its what you are within that matters. I have realized a greatest truth, the more beautiful you feel inside, the more gorgeous you appear.

Fatness does not presume sadness, Happiness does not require thinness :-)

Housewife or a Working Mom ???

Recently while going through the Watsapp profile of my contacts, I came across my close friend's DP which had the following display.

After reading it, I remembered I had gone through the same feelings few months ago when I was going to have a baby. At that moment I realized my friend also is pregnant. I guess every working woman goes through this phase at least once in her lifetime. Its a very difficult decision to make whether to continue to work after becoming a mother.

It's the matter of each individuals choice,situations,priorities,needs and the support system at home.Life is not the same after having a baby. You have to keep so many things in mind before deciding what you want to do. At one moment you have a feeling, you are blessed with a child and all you want to do is take care of the baby and be a complete mother and give your 100% to the kid. On the other hand, you get the feeling of what about you as a person, what about your career, what about your dreams and what about your freedom.

In the past, man was responsible for all the financial matters and expenses, and woman for the raising of the children and all the housework. But society has changed and along with it the family structure too. Nowadays with the rising cost of living, we as a wife and mother need to support the family. Not only that, the hard work you have put into getting your education is going to be rewarded.You are gonna have a life for yourself too. When you are earning, you will feel proud, confident, secure and independent.

We are capable of doing more than just ordinary household chores. We give our husbands and children their own space and freedom.We are capable of running the house by ourselves.Our children need to know that women can be powerful and aspire to good careers, and also be a good mother. Their mother is the example they will see the most and will learn from an early age.

Yes, of course you will be missing your kid, you are gonna feel bad that your child is not getting your full attention and time. But at the same time if you think about your life after your child grows up and starts going to school,college and gonna have life of their own and they won't need your support anymore. Then it will be very late for you to start working again because you will have got used to being at home. Starting your career from the scratch is going to be really difficult.

I took the hard decision of being a working mother, I leave my kid at home with my MIL and go to work. I don't have to worry about the safety of my child as she is at home and she is with her grandmother. I miss out on so many of her first of things, when she crawled for the first time or when she uttered her first words I wasn't there to cherish it, but when she repeats them in front of me, I consider that was her first time. I miss on her day to day activities, I feel bad but I know all these sacrifices are for her, for her future. I am being pillar to support her happiness, well being, education, future etc.

I cannot say I am very happy being a working mother but there is a sense of accomplishment. My mother being a housewife always kept telling how she wished she had studied more and been a Working Mom. Now I know what she meant :-)

My love for Tea!

The subject of this blog is very discrete but it's very essential part of my life and may be for many of you reading this. My day starts with this and I need this at least 3 times a day and becomes 4-5 times on a weekend. I am tagged by friends in most of the posts in Facebook and Instagram regarding this topic. It’s easy for me to connect with and mingle well with those who share the love for this. My love for this annoys my husband to the core, but I can’t help it nor can he. He has to bear with it for the rest of his life. So what is this thing which I am describing in so many ways? Any guesses…YES, It’s TEA 😄

Some of you must be thinking what can be written about Tea, Can there be enough content for this subject? But if you ask me, I will always say YES. If ever there had to an essay competition and the subject be Tea, I am sure I would have secured full marks in school days but NO, the teachers always have more important topics such as National Politics, Science, Freedom, Festivals, Technology etc. even when the word TEACHER itself has the first three letter as TEA. I am not complaining though but I never got the chance to express my love for tea in words that’s why I am writing here where my thoughts my way can reach to all the Tea lovers out there and for non-tea lovers you can relate to anything you love to drink. 😁

I guess there is more tea running through my body than blood given the amount of tea I have been consuming from a very small age. This incredible love for tea also runs in my family. I have probably got it from my parents. When I was a kid and tasted tea for the first time, liked it and asked for more, my parents must have felt immensely proud and told each other ‘she is definitely our daughter’. There are so many stories of me around tea, I will share a few here.

one of the stories would be about last year when we were in France, my husband’s colleague invited us for lunch on a weekend. We were served the French food but with a twist that Indians can like. We were humbled by the effort they had made. It was post lunch we were all chitchatting and discussing the cultures of different countries and they were showing us the photo albums of their family and the colleague’s husband asks if we want to have some tea. The word itself excited me and I immediately said 'YES'. But my husband politely tried to tell me ‘You won’t like the tea they make, they drink just the decoction without milk and sugar’. Listening to our conversation, he asked ‘Is there a specific way we make our tea?’. Without any hesitation  I told ‘YES, would you like to try tea in Indian way today?’ (My husband was embarrassed but it was me and my love for tea and also my time for tea). The colleague’s husband ushered me their kitchen and assisted me in preparing the Indian tea. When I served the tea and they liked it and said they are going to drink the Indian way of tea once a week. ! It made my day, I felt so proud (my husband was now grinning). This is one of the memories I take back from France and cherish it 💭

The second story is about almost 7 years ago during the early period of our courtship, my going to be husband wanted me to meet some of his friends. We went to Orion mall, Rajaji Nagar, Bangalore. It was a nice afternoon with lots of chatting and loads of junk food pizza, burgers, fries etc. etc. It was 4 PM, all the friends left. And there I was saying to him ‘I want to have some tea!’. The last thing he wanted to do that evening was hunt for tea. If I ask him the same now, he will either say ‘I will be here, you go drink your tea and comeback’ that is if he is in good mood else he will say ‘Get lost, I am going home. Do whatever you want’. But it was a different era, he had to impress me so he said 'I can get you the Moon and Stars, Tea is such a small thing after all'. We went back to food court and searched for Tea everywhere in mall only to find out that there is no tea anywhere in the entire huge great mall. With great despair, we came out of the mall and started walking on the streets of Rajaji Nagar to find tea. We were asking random people of road where we get tea. It was 5 PM by now, we continued to walk for almost 2 Km then found a small stall where cigarettes and tea were sold. It was finally 6 PM by the time we got tea, I drank 2 cups to fulfill my desire. Both of us learnt something about each other that day. He got to know how badly I need my tea and I learnt from him that he will accompany me for tea always whether he drinks it or no.

I am sure many of us have our own stories of tea, coffee or any other food items we love in particular and crave for it. For me its tea, the aroma of it itself brings immense joy in me, the taste of it triggers positive emotions in my mind and amplify energy in my body. I am always first one in a group to say ‘Let’s go for tea’ may it be work place or a friend’s get together or a family trip. People close to me will vouch for this bond as they all have been part of the great mid night gossip with tea. My guilty pleasure is sipping a hot cup of tea anytime anywhere anyplace. 💓 what's yours???

The father in my husband!!!

It’s been almost four years since we are married and we are blessed with a lovely baby girl :) she is 2 years old now. My husband and I work in the same company. We live with our in-laws and that’s why it’s easy for us to leave our child behind and go to work every day.

So one fine day, my husband calls me to the extension phone and tells me the good news that he has got an onsite assignment and he has to travel in a month and stay there for six months. I didn’t know how to react. Obviously I was happy for him it was his first time and he always had this aspiration. From the tone of his speech I was sure he was thrilled about it. So keeping the same momentum I said congratulations :) he hung up saying he has some formalities to be completed soon and he will catch up with me later.

Now I had the time to think and I was wondering what about me and my daughter. Should we travel with him or stay back here. I wouldn’t give up my job for six months for sure, but at the same time I couldn’t live without him back here for so long. The big question running in my mind was how he will stay without his daughter. He loves her so much, he is a doting father. His day starts with her and ends with her. There is no single day he has stayed away from her. But I thought he is a mature man, he has made up his mind, he has taken right decisions, and it is for the good.

On the day he had to fly, we all went to drop him to airport. We three, my husband, daughter and I were in one cab. We were an hour away from airport. I was busy checking if I have packed everything and haven’t missed and messed anything. After a moment, I saw tears in his eyes. That was the second time I ever saw him cry (first was when she was born). He was hugging his little angel who was asleep and isn’t even aware and that her dad will not be with her for next few months. It was such an emotional display of a father and daughter relationship. I knew it would be very hard for him. He couldn’t stop crying for few minutes and then he told me, it was most painful moment of his life so far. He made me take vows that I will take care of her to my best and be her dad and mom both for the next six months. I had tears in my eyes not because I will miss him but because he was going to miss his daughter miserably.

That day I saw a father in my husband. Till that day I always thought I loved my daughter more than he did but I was wrong. Now when he has gone there, he makes sure they have Skype calls every day. Its pleasure to see the excitement in both of them when they are talking. He talks to her more than he talks to me. Yes, my daughter is the other woman in his life :)

I complete 15 years in Bengaluru today!

Fear, anxiety, nervousness and insecurity: These were my emotions on July 29th, 2010, the day I moved to Bengaluru. 

The day I landed in this gigantic city, I felt lost, I felt numb, I felt like a stranger. The first day in office was day full of unknowns and also filled with excitement at the same time. 

I was this naive small-town girl who had never spent a day away from parents till then. I had a job offer in hand in my final semester. I was very happy, exited and proud of that but at the same time had cold feet to leave my family & hometown Hubli. Trust me it was not easy. I had butterflies in my stomach. Mixed emotions I cannot express. Each one of you who have moved out of home to live alone elsewhere would have experienced it.

A month passed in the same struggle, feeling homesick each day passing, wanting to give up every single day but kept moving on with perseverance because that's the way we are all brought up. I also realized that I am not alone and there are thousands of people sailing in the same boat. I made friends and started enjoying work life. The first salary was like a priceless moment. It felt like an achievement and a sense of pride it gives you is out of the world.

This high-tech capital city of Karnataka - rightly called the Silicon Valley of India - has provided jobs to crores of people like me, who have lived in Bangalore for years, yet perhaps never paused to appreciate this beautiful city.

What makes Bangalore special?  It's the weather, trees, lakes, parks, eateries, pubs, metro, temples, roads, vibe and people of course.

There is no other metropolitan city that is as green as Bangalore. The trees make the city so beautiful specially in the spring when the city is colorful with yellow, purple and pink flowers all over. 

Lakes here give you that extra motivation for a morning jog and evening walk. Same with the parks. It is so rightly called the "city of gardens". A stroll in Lalbagh can take all your stress away.

I can't even get started on the eateries. You get the best breakfast in the world here. The dosas, idli, vada, chatni, bhaats and of course the coffee you get in the Darshini's here you will not find anywhere else in the world. The pubs here are out of the world and have the vibe that's unmatchable. There are restaurants that offer you all types of cuisines and flavors form across the globe. 

Talking about the people, the city has population from every state in India. The actual national cultural integrity of the country is here in Bangalore. I have had the pleasure of meeting people from so many states and work closely with them. Once colleagues who are friends and family now. 

The metro connectivity has brought the city closer and is helping solve Bangalore's huge problem - "The Traffic" and who creates this traffic? We - people who have come here for all that the city has to offer.

Bengaluru is my city now; and this is where I belong. Whenever I am away for a week or more, I am happy returning to Bangalore every single time.

Cannot believe it's15 years already in Bangalore. It has given me a so much and I do not know how I can repay, may be by doing my bit in keeping the city clean. It has given me a job, a livelihood, friends for life, a wonderful family, a home, memories I cherish for life 💙

Today I can proudly say "Namma Bengaluru" has a special place in my heart 💗and glad to call Bengaluru as my home now. 🏠

My daughter & me : Part -1

As I kept thinking of the topic for my next blog, it came to my mind why not write about my daughter and me. Every day we have some fun moments, some not so fun moments and some moments worth sharing. I am going to write them as series, my first attempt in writing something like this. I hope you like it and let's see how it goes... Fingers crossed…🤞

For the Part -1, I am going to write about a recent incident or should I call it a realization for myself... read on to know more💗

After the COVID hit and the concept of online school started, we parents got over involved. We started involving in each and every detail of their class, teachers, subjects and even chapters. I made her sit beside me during the entire online classes (while I myself would be working as well)  so that I can follow and make her do the necessary homework or activities etc. This whole thing grew on me and I was experiencing my own re-schooling through her, which was a disaster... 😖 believe me. I panicked when she didn't know an answer or wrote a spelling wrong. I mean poor thing, she herself was going through a tough time in adjusting to the online classes and I was being paranoid about every minute matter. I wanted her to do the best in every damn task. She is a very obedient kid and looks up to me for everything. She was trying her best to be what I wanted her to be. After certain point in time, it became more about me than her. One whole year passed like this.

It was during the second year of pandemic, it hit me that I was being rather stupid 😄. I wanted her to be perfect and be a perfect mother. What is the definition of perfect anyway was the question? Was it being the best in school? best in everything you do? Absolutely not!  No one is perfect and nothing is perfect. Thank God 🙏 I realised this mid-way and changed a lot of things. I let her do mistakes for once, I let her be herself and discover what she likes to do the most. I stopped pressurising her for any school related activities to only find out that she did even better without my intervention. It felt so good, and I was also relieved from all the unnecessary stress I was going through. I started concentrating more on her well-being, we started playing a new sport, spent more quality time with each other (just chitchatting), started doing more fun stuff together. We travelled more often, and I learnt something about her during this course. She loves travelling, she likes to explore things, she is a foodie (just like me) and has great interest in nature and wildlife 🚌🚗🌳🌄🌻🐘🐂🐠🐤🐦🐪🐴🐇💚. 

I am so glad that the normal schools have started now, the kids are excited, teachers are happy and parents are at ease. Anyways the best thing I realised through all this is she can do anything to make me happy, may it be practicing English spellings hundred times, solving Math problems fifty times, or reciting a song/poem whether she likes it or not. she will do it all. Now it’s up to me whether I let her follow the mundane life or let her be the explorer that she is and I have decided on the latter of course. I am lucky to have the best daughter in the world 😍! Few spellings... yeah, she will pick them later in life 👍

"Women in Namma Metro @ Bangalore"

Life is too short to be stuck in traffic. In this blog I am writing about my recent experience that helped me not only overcome the traffic issue but also made me realize how women are empowered. Here you go..

I joined a new organization during the pandemic last year. I never went to office until recently when I got an e-mail that we were having a client visit and our management was going to be here in Bangalore office and we were also expected to be in office on a certain day. I was excited as I had not seen the office and I would finally meet my colleagues but when you are in Bangalore, commuting to office is a herculean task in itself. We need prior planning. I did some research and decided to take metro.

As I had to reach the office early I quickly finished the daily chores, sent my kid to school, got ready and asked my husband to drop me at the nearest metro station which is like a Km from my home. I waved to my husband and walked to the metro station. I was by myself in a public transport after a long time. I had forgotten how I used to travel alone and was wondering about what I was going to do till I reach my destination which was going to take nearly 45 mins. But I did not realize how the time flew. Read on to know how...

I was greeted with a smile by the lady security guard at the entrance, I felt welcomed. During the security check there was another woman staff who initiated a quick chat. At the ticket counter was another lady, this time I smiled first and asked for the ticket and the information that I needed. She was so helpful and guided me accurately about where I need to alight, where to change the metro line and board the next metro etc. I also happened to notice the cleaning staff for the trains were also ladies.

 

I went and stood in the front line where I saw a board "Entry for ladies only", I felt special and hoped that I would get a seat. I saw the metro arrive and voila! I saw a woman driver operating the train.

I could not be more impressed, and I was already feeling proud of womanhood. 

I was in a metro coach filled with women of all age group and I also got a seat. I was  as I had hoped for. I was glancing around and was observant of my fellow passengers. I could not help but notice the individuality of each woman present there.
There was a lady who was so well dressed, she could directly walk into a hi-fi Hollywood movie. I assumed she could be an HR in a multinational company. Heels, formal skirt and blouse, hair done so well, make up intact, she carried herself so well. I was impressed just by the way she had dressed. 

I saw another woman is uniform, a perfect saree with hair tied in a bun. One could easily guess she was a receptionist at a hotel/hospital/office.
It was amazing to see few school kids in uniforms.
I also noticed a Kannada TV serial actress amongst us.
A bunch of college going girls giggling all though the journey, that scene was refreshing, reminded me of my college days and friends.

There were women in skirts, uniforms, burka, salwar kameez, jeans, sarees and what not. All from different part of the city from different backgrounds leaving behind some stories at home with certain goal to achieve for the day just as I had.
Each woman is different and has a story of her own. In diversity, I saw a common zeal and strength. Each woman is strong and fast to match the fast-paced life in a city like Bangalore and with Metro helping us reach places faster.

      More power to Women and Namma Metro!

 

Back to reading and hence writing

Off late I started reading books again. I used to read a lot when I was single, had a lot of time for myself, but then boom my parents decided I should get married. During the first year of my wedding, wanted to spend time with my new husband, love was in the air so whenever I got free time after work and household chores, I would always cling to him. After a year through the marriage another boom, we decided we make a baby just because everyone around us were having babies. Post that there was nothing called as free time ever after.

It’s been 4 and half years now that my daughter sometimes decides mamma can get sometime for herself, and I don’t feel like spending time with the old husband anymore. And recently Chetan Bhagat’s ‘Girl in room 105’ came out and it was all over amazon. My husband who is a freak in ordering things from amazon and relishing on the cashback (giving more business to amazon in return ofcourse) saw the book and told me that my favorite author’s book is out and asks me, should he order the book hoping to get some cashback. I am in two minds thinking if I can sneak out sometime to read, but finally asked him to order. That weekend we were going to a resort to celebrate our 6^th anniversary. I kept the book in the bag planning to make my daughter sleep the whole time and read, so unrealistic of me. Luckily the resort had kids play area and my husband was in full mood to have some daughter- father time and I was left alone all by myself which does not happen often. So this book was my comeback book for reading like the movie stars mainly the actresses post their maternity say ‘come back movie’, something like that for my reading. Was kind of satisfied reading the book but was not engulfed by it, his past works are more real. Now he writes with a thought of making it a movie.

After completing the book, I was inspired to read more. But which one, I was bewildered and then one day I see a post from Sonam Kapoor on Instagram that she is reading ‘Mahashweta’ written by Sudha Murthy. Sudha Murthy has always been an inspiration to me, not just because I work in the organization Infosys where she has her footprints nor because I have studied the same Electrical and Electronic subjects from the same college BVB that she has graduated from and not even because we are from the same city Hubli. All these aspects do make me feel special about myself that I share so many common things with her. But what inspires me the most about her is her persona itself. She is the best example for ‘simple living, higher thinking. I have seen her a couple of times in the organization, she is always composed, always prepared, and always humble. With all the prior admiration of Sudha Murthy I decided to read ‘Mahashweta’. After reading the book I have become a fan of her writing. Such simple writing and yet strong message. Some credits to Sonam Kapoor’s post for that, following her to get more options of books J

The next book is ‘Mrs Funnybones’ by Twinkle Khanna, so how this happened also has a story. Last weekend was at a birthday party of my college friend’s son’s 5^th birthday, as it is 5^th birthday she decided to make it extravagant and booked a place which had party hall and a kids play arena. So my daughter was totally enjoying herself in the colored balls and swings and slides, I wonder will she ever get bored of these games. There is café and small library for the parents who accompany the kids and I see another mom reading the book ‘Mrs Funnybones’ and is grinning in a way that I could sense she is relating to the book and enjoying it. I decided that’s going to be my next book. I start reading the book and I had to look for at least 10 words in google in the first 10 pages. OMG, such good vocabulary and a celebrity writing about the funny things she goes through as a woman who is also a homemaker and a mother is a real good read. I am yet to finish but have decided to read all her books.

Now after reading the three books mentioned above, I am inspired and motivated to write. I thought why not start writing with the same thought. I hope I can read more and write more. These are the things I enjoy doing. Thanks to amazon that the books are now easily available to order from and they reach you next day. They are not expensive and my husband is happy to order them for me, credits to cashback. Hope you enjoyed reading this, if yes, then more coming your way!!!