Soul Sisters

Seems like I am on a writing spree these days, otherwise I usually keep looking for topics and end up writing nothing. As much as I enjoy writing, it is sometimes difficult to figure out what to write about. I have been wanting to write about this particular topic from a long time but was not getting the flow of it. Now my thoughts are aligned and I am writing with great joy,  I hope you as a reader also enjoy reading it as much.

Where do I start? Who are soul sisters anyway? Google says "a woman whose thoughts, feelings, and attitudes closely match those of another; a kindred spirit." and that's exactly how I would define my soul sisters. I have two amazing soul sisters in my life, one is my sister-in-law (my brother's wife) who I will address as SIL in short and other is my co-sister (my husband's brother's wife) in short COSIS.

My SIL is born on same day, same month just a year after I was born. we share the same (rashi)zodiac sign and our (nakshatra)stars are same. We even share the same nickname at home. She got married to my brother exactly a year after my marriage. So, it was more like she was my replacement in my maika (mom's home). I call this destiny. we connected instantly and we are so alike in everything may it be thinking, behaviour, attitude, dressing, taste in food, even the TV shows and web series interests are alike; anything and everything our wavelengths match. whenever I am in doubt about myself, she is first one I reach out to. She is always there to guide me, support me, nurture me, and encourage me. She has constantly helped me take the right decisions about smaller and bigger things in life.

My COSIS is my best friend. I am not sure if we were destined to be soul sisters, but we made it happen. We are not alike, our thinking does not match, we did not connect well initially, we had a rocky start in our relationship. Now when I am writing about it, I am so glad all that happened. How else would have I found my best friend for life. We have gone through so much as co-sisters and all this has only made us stronger, closer, and inseparable. Now we are partners in crime, shopping buddies, moral boosters, crying shoulders, laughing ladies and what not. She is fun, fierce, transparent, lives in the moment, she is my style guru (If I look good in any of the pictures, all credits to her) and best of all she is always there for me. 

Something in common about both, they are both like my sisters from different mothers. I never feel lonely, never felt the need of a sister, they have my back no matter what. We motivate each other at all times. we are fitness enthusiasts(whatever little we do). I am truly blessed to have them in my life. The way they care for my daughter, it’s truly unbelievable. They stand as a rock for her, and she is so attached to them. She shares a special bond with them, I even get jealous of their bonding sometimes. What more can I ask for?

In general, to everyone who is reading this, if you have sister-in-law, co-sister or even friends/ neighbours and things are not right, just resolve them. Life is too short to keep grudges. Mend those fences and if you are lucky as I am, maybe you too will find your soul sisters. 

My daughter & me : Part -1

As I kept thinking of the topic for my next blog, it came to my mind why not write about my daughter and me. Every day we have some fun moments, some not so fun moments and some moments worth sharing. I am going to write them as series, my first attempt in writing something like this. I hope you like it and let's see how it goes... Fingers crossed…🤞

For the Part -1, I am going to write about a recent incident or should I call it a realization for myself... read on to know more💗

After the COVID hit and the concept of online school started, we parents got over involved. We started involving in each and every detail of their class, teachers, subjects and even chapters. I made her sit beside me during the entire online classes (while I myself would be working as well)  so that I can follow and make her do the necessary homework or activities etc. This whole thing grew on me and I was experiencing my own re-schooling through her, which was a disaster... 😖 believe me. I panicked when she didn't know an answer or wrote a spelling wrong. I mean poor thing, she herself was going through a tough time in adjusting to the online classes and I was being paranoid about every minute matter. I wanted her to do the best in every damn task. She is a very obedient kid and looks up to me for everything. She was trying her best to be what I wanted her to be. After certain point in time, it became more about me than her. One whole year passed like this.

It was during the second year of pandemic, it hit me that I was being rather stupid 😄. I wanted her to be perfect and be a perfect mother. What is the definition of perfect anyway was the question? Was it being the best in school? best in everything you do? Absolutely not!  No one is perfect and nothing is perfect. Thank God 🙏 I realised this mid-way and changed a lot of things. I let her do mistakes for once, I let her be herself and discover what she likes to do the most. I stopped pressurising her for any school related activities to only find out that she did even better without my intervention. It felt so good, and I was also relieved from all the unnecessary stress I was going through. I started concentrating more on her well-being, we started playing a new sport, spent more quality time with each other (just chitchatting), started doing more fun stuff together. We travelled more often, and I learnt something about her during this course. She loves travelling, she likes to explore things, she is a foodie (just like me) and has great interest in nature and wildlife 🚌🚗🌳🌄🌻🐘🐂🐠🐤🐦🐪🐴🐇💚. 

I am so glad that the normal schools have started now, the kids are excited, teachers are happy and parents are at ease. Anyways the best thing I realised through all this is she can do anything to make me happy, may it be practicing English spellings hundred times, solving Math problems fifty times, or reciting a song/poem whether she likes it or not. she will do it all. Now it’s up to me whether I let her follow the mundane life or let her be the explorer that she is and I have decided on the latter of course. I am lucky to have the best daughter in the world 😍! Few spellings... yeah, she will pick them later in life 👍

"Women in Namma Metro @ Bangalore"

Life is too short to be stuck in traffic. In this blog I am writing about my recent experience that helped me not only overcome the traffic issue but also made me realize how women are empowered. Here you go..

I joined a new organization during the pandemic last year. I never went to office until recently when I got an e-mail that we were having a client visit and our management was going to be here in Bangalore office and we were also expected to be in office on a certain day. I was excited as I had not seen the office and I would finally meet my colleagues but when you are in Bangalore, commuting to office is a herculean task in itself. We need prior planning. I did some research and decided to take metro.

As I had to reach the office early I quickly finished the daily chores, sent my kid to school, got ready and asked my husband to drop me at the nearest metro station which is like a Km from my home. I waved to my husband and walked to the metro station. I was by myself in a public transport after a long time. I had forgotten how I used to travel alone and was wondering about what I was going to do till I reach my destination which was going to take nearly 45 mins. But I did not realize how the time flew. Read on to know how...

I was greeted with a smile by the lady security guard at the entrance, I felt welcomed. During the security check there was another woman staff who initiated a quick chat. At the ticket counter was another lady, this time I smiled first and asked for the ticket and the information that I needed. She was so helpful and guided me accurately about where I need to alight, where to change the metro line and board the next metro etc. I also happened to notice the cleaning staff for the trains were also ladies.

 

I went and stood in the front line where I saw a board "Entry for ladies only", I felt special and hoped that I would get a seat. I saw the metro arrive and voila! I saw a woman driver operating the train.

I could not be more impressed, and I was already feeling proud of womanhood. 

I was in a metro coach filled with women of all age group and I also got a seat. I was  as I had hoped for. I was glancing around and was observant of my fellow passengers. I could not help but notice the individuality of each woman present there.
There was a lady who was so well dressed, she could directly walk into a hi-fi Hollywood movie. I assumed she could be an HR in a multinational company. Heels, formal skirt and blouse, hair done so well, make up intact, she carried herself so well. I was impressed just by the way she had dressed. 

I saw another woman is uniform, a perfect saree with hair tied in a bun. One could easily guess she was a receptionist at a hotel/hospital/office.
It was amazing to see few school kids in uniforms.
I also noticed a Kannada TV serial actress amongst us.
A bunch of college going girls giggling all though the journey, that scene was refreshing, reminded me of my college days and friends.

There were women in skirts, uniforms, burka, salwar kameez, jeans, sarees and what not. All from different part of the city from different backgrounds leaving behind some stories at home with certain goal to achieve for the day just as I had.
Each woman is different and has a story of her own. In diversity, I saw a common zeal and strength. Each woman is strong and fast to match the fast-paced life in a city like Bangalore and with Metro helping us reach places faster.

      More power to Women and Namma Metro!

 

Leaf for Life...

The subject of this blog is very discrete but it's very essential part of my life and may be for many of you reading this. My day starts with this and I need this at least 3 times a day and becomes 4-5 times on a weekend. I am tagged by friends in most of the posts in Facebook and Instagram regarding this topic. It’s easy for me to connect with and mingle well with those who share the love for this. My love for this annoys my husband to the core, but I can’t help it nor can he. He has to bear with it for the rest of his life. So what is this thing which I am describing in so many ways? Any guesses…YES, It’s TEA 😄

Some of you must be thinking what can be written about Tea, Can there be enough content for this subject? But if you ask me, I will always say YES. If ever there had to an essay competition and the subject be Tea, I am sure I would have secured full marks in school days but NO, the teachers always have more important topics such as National Politics, Science, Freedom, Festivals, Technology etc. even when the word TEACHER itself has the first three letter as TEA. I am not complaining though but I never got the chance to express my love for tea in words that’s why I am writing here where my thoughts my way can reach to all the Tea lovers out there and for non-tea lovers you can relate to anything you love to drink. 😁

I guess there is more tea running through my body than blood given the amount of tea I have been consuming from a very small age. This incredible love for tea also runs in my family. I have probably got it from my parents. When I was a kid and tasted tea for the first time, liked it and asked for more, my parents must have felt immensely proud and told each other ‘she is definitely our daughter’. There are so many stories of me around tea, I will share a few here.

one of the stories would be about last year when we were in France, my husband’s colleague invited us for lunch on a weekend. We were served the French food but with a twist that Indians can like. We were humbled by the effort they had made. It was post lunch we were all chitchatting and discussing the cultures of different countries and they were showing us the photo albums of their family and the colleague’s husband asks if we want to have some tea. The word itself excited me and I immediately said 'YES'. But my husband politely tried to tell me ‘You won’t like the tea they make, they drink just the decoction without milk and sugar’. Listening to our conversation, he asked ‘Is there a specific way we make our tea?’. Without any hesitation  I told ‘YES, would you like to try tea in Indian way today?’ (My husband was embarrassed but it was me and my love for tea and also my time for tea). The colleague’s husband ushered me their kitchen and assisted me in preparing the Indian tea. When I served the tea and they liked it and said they are going to drink the Indian way of tea once a week. ! It made my day, I felt so proud (my husband was now grinning). This is one of the memories I take back from France and cherish it 💭

The second story is about almost 7 years ago during the early period of our courtship, my going to be husband wanted me to meet some of his friends. We went to Orion mall, Rajaji Nagar, Bangalore. It was a nice afternoon with lots of chatting and loads of junk food pizza, burgers, fries etc. etc. It was 4 PM, all the friends left. And there I was saying to him ‘I want to have some tea!’. The last thing he wanted to do that evening was hunt for tea. If I ask him the same now, he will either say ‘I will be here, you go drink your tea and comeback’ that is if he is in good mood else he will say ‘Get lost, I am going home. Do whatever you want’. But it was a different era, he had to impress me so he said 'I can get you the Moon and Stars, Tea is such a small thing after all'. We went back to food court and searched for Tea everywhere in mall only to find out that there is no tea anywhere in the entire huge great mall. With great despair, we came out of the mall and started walking on the streets of Rajaji Nagar to find tea. We were asking random people of road where we get tea. It was 5 PM by now, we continued to walk for almost 2 Km then found a small stall where cigarettes and tea were sold. It was finally 6 PM by the time we got tea, I drank 2 cups to fulfill my desire. Both of us learnt something about each other that day. He got to know how badly I need my tea and I learnt from him that he will accompany me for tea always whether he drinks it or no.

I am sure many of us have our own stories of tea, coffee or any other food items we love in particular and crave for it. For me its tea, the aroma of it itself brings immense joy in me, the taste of it triggers positive emotions in my mind and amplify energy in my body. I am always first one in a group to say ‘Let’s go for tea’ may it be work place or a friend’s get together or a family trip. People close to me will vouch for this bond as they all have been part of the great mid night gossip with tea. My guilty pleasure is sipping a hot cup of tea anytime anywhere anyplace. 💓 what's yours???

Back to reading and hence writing

Off late I started reading books again. I used to read a lot when I was single, had a lot of time for myself, but then boom my parents decided I should get married. During the first year of my wedding, wanted to spend time with my new husband, love was in the air so whenever I got free time after work and household chores, I would always cling to him. After a year through the marriage another boom, we decided we make a baby just because everyone around us were having babies. Post that there was nothing called as free time ever after.

It’s been 4 and half years now that my daughter sometimes decides mamma can get sometime for herself, and I don’t feel like spending time with the old husband anymore. And recently Chetan Bhagat’s ‘Girl in room 105’ came out and it was all over amazon. My husband who is a freak in ordering things from amazon and relishing on the cashback (giving more business to amazon in return ofcourse) saw the book and told me that my favorite author’s book is out and asks me, should he order the book hoping to get some cashback. I am in two minds thinking if I can sneak out sometime to read, but finally asked him to order. That weekend we were going to a resort to celebrate our 6^th anniversary. I kept the book in the bag planning to make my daughter sleep the whole time and read, so unrealistic of me. Luckily the resort had kids play area and my husband was in full mood to have some daughter- father time and I was left alone all by myself which does not happen often. So this book was my comeback book for reading like the movie stars mainly the actresses post their maternity say ‘come back movie’, something like that for my reading. Was kind of satisfied reading the book but was not engulfed by it, his past works are more real. Now he writes with a thought of making it a movie.

After completing the book, I was inspired to read more. But which one, I was bewildered and then one day I see a post from Sonam Kapoor on Instagram that she is reading ‘Mahashweta’ written by Sudha Murthy. Sudha Murthy has always been an inspiration to me, not just because I work in the organization Infosys where she has her footprints nor because I have studied the same Electrical and Electronic subjects from the same college BVB that she has graduated from and not even because we are from the same city Hubli. All these aspects do make me feel special about myself that I share so many common things with her. But what inspires me the most about her is her persona itself. She is the best example for ‘simple living, higher thinking. I have seen her a couple of times in the organization, she is always composed, always prepared, and always humble. With all the prior admiration of Sudha Murthy I decided to read ‘Mahashweta’. After reading the book I have become a fan of her writing. Such simple writing and yet strong message. Some credits to Sonam Kapoor’s post for that, following her to get more options of books J

The next book is ‘Mrs Funnybones’ by Twinkle Khanna, so how this happened also has a story. Last weekend was at a birthday party of my college friend’s son’s 5^th birthday, as it is 5^th birthday she decided to make it extravagant and booked a place which had party hall and a kids play arena. So my daughter was totally enjoying herself in the colored balls and swings and slides, I wonder will she ever get bored of these games. There is café and small library for the parents who accompany the kids and I see another mom reading the book ‘Mrs Funnybones’ and is grinning in a way that I could sense she is relating to the book and enjoying it. I decided that’s going to be my next book. I start reading the book and I had to look for at least 10 words in google in the first 10 pages. OMG, such good vocabulary and a celebrity writing about the funny things she goes through as a woman who is also a homemaker and a mother is a real good read. I am yet to finish but have decided to read all her books.

Now after reading the three books mentioned above, I am inspired and motivated to write. I thought why not start writing with the same thought. I hope I can read more and write more. These are the things I enjoy doing. Thanks to amazon that the books are now easily available to order from and they reach you next day. They are not expensive and my husband is happy to order them for me, credits to cashback. Hope you enjoyed reading this, if yes, then more coming your way!!!

Mantralaya Darshana - in the name of GOD

Disclaimer - This is a personal blog. Any views or opinions represented in this blog are personal and belong solely to the blog owner and do not represent those of people, institutions or organizations that the owner may or may not be associated with in professional or personal capacity, unless explicitly stated. Any views or opinions are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, or individual.

This isn’t my usual kind of writing, but I feel like sharing this experience. My family (in-laws) believe a lot in Raghavendra Swami and we pay a visit to Mantralaya every year and it was time for this year’s visit last weekend. We were 10 people and hence decided to book a Tempo Traveler. The rooms were booked in Mantralaya for a night stay. Food was packed, bags were stuffed with snacks, played several games while travelling. It was a good journey.

Before visiting Mantralaya, we visited two other places Panchamukhi and Bichchali. Pachamukhi is the place where lord Hanuman is with five heads. Bichchali is a place where Raghavendra Swami lived for 13 years and achieved greater spirituality. It is a very beautiful place, the temple is on banks of river Tunga, so calm, so serene and has such a great history and holiness of Raghavendra Swami.  But I was surprised and shocked to see how people are trying to make this place a source of money. They call out for people of different languages, they scream out Kannada, Tamil, and Telugu. There is one person for each language to explain the history of the place and by the end of the speech, he talks about how you can do this seva, that seva, and how any kind of problems can be resolved by enrolling yourself for the Pooja by paying money. Yes, they say pray to God but WAIT there is a way to do that, there is a method you need to follow, you have to buy a coconut, hold in your hands, pray that our problem be solved and then also add I will come back and donate some amount of money once the wish is fulfilled or the problem is solved. This was the moment I was disturbed, does God really ask for money to fulfill our wishes? Does god really ask for donation to solve our problems? I don’t think so, I am sure when Raghavendra Swami dwelled in the place, never asked for money and never did he tell there is a method and way to pray to me. These people are exploiting public in the name of God and they are converting the faith people have in God to fear. They are adulterating the entire faith and belief system.

Next day we had a good dharshan of Brundavana in Mantralaya. We wanted to do a special family Pooja or seva as it is called, we saw the huge list which had all the offerings from 100 rps to 10, 0000 rps (no GST here). We chose a 700 rps seva which was for one hour and also they would allow entire family to be seated. We entered the hall where all these offerings happen, we saw several boards with amount written on it. The boards having more amount were placed in front and the lesser amount behind in a descending manner. We found the board with 700 written on it and sat around it. The puja started, few mantras and shlokas were chanted. Then they asked us all to stand in a queue, how??? Again descending order of the amount of seva coupon we have taken. Does our faith and trust depend on how much we can afford to offer on the seva, does it mean if you are doing a Pooja of 1000 rps, you love your god more and god will be more impressed and vice versa. Never!!!

I believe in existence of god, I pray every day, I like to visit temples, and I like to follow all the culture that my family has been following but that doesn’t make me to fall for these things. I know and believe it’s all about good deeds you do, be good and the good will happen to you. You really want to donate some money, instead of offering a Pooja give it a poor family, god will be more happy. Beyond that you want to donate in the same temple, offer as grocery for the free food that is given every day. I am not saying these rituals followed are wrong but can we be more sensible, think logically and behave practically.

Incomplete First Love Story...

This is my first attempt at writing a fiction blog. I don’t know how good or bad it is going to turn out to be. Hopefully all you folks reading this will like it.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

It is a Saturday night, Pranita and Ashok are done with their dinner. Pranita puts their three years old son to bed and is back in living room, its Ashok’s turn to do the chores today so she is resting on sofa in their living room after the long day it had been. They are very happy contented couple, they feel very lucky to have found each other. Ashok is a supportive and loving husband and Pranita makes a good wife and a caring mother. Her cellphone beeps, it’s a Facebook update for some game request. She gets irritated but keeps scrolling to see other updates. There flashes the name Abhinav Singhania, it’s his picture with wife by the side. She ignores the woman in the pic and looks at Abhinav, she has the same feeling, same adrenal rush that she had when she first saw him 15 years ago.

Pranita was in PUC 1^ST year and Abhinav was her senior in the next class. She hadn’t met him until their roll numbers were written on the same bench for an exam. She was already sitting there all prepared for the exam, then he appeared and sat beside her. She saw him at a glance and there he was tall, fair and handsome, looks that she couldn’t ignore, looks she was impressed by. She had a strange feeling she didn’t know of. The question papers were circulated, it was difficult for her to concentrate on the exam but she somehow managed to finish it well.

He was on her mind for the rest of the day. She had to study for the next subject but all she could think about was him. She had to sit beside him for the next 5 days, she had to prepare for that as well. She tried her level best to ignore him and study for her next subject in the night. Next day she wanted to look good, she did her last minute preparations for the exam as she felt the guilt of not studying well previous day. She entered the class and saw him already sitting on their bench, she quietly went and sat on her part of the bench. And then he said Hi, she didn’t expect it, she replied Hi without looking at him. He wished her all the best and she just said same to you. These were the only two sentences they spoke. She had some sort of excitement for each of the exams, she couldn’t define those emotions: they were all together new for her. The last day she took lot of courage and said bye and happy holidays. He looked back, their eyes met, it was magical. They stared at each other for some time and then he just said bye when one of his friends called out for him.

She had this last image of his in her mind throughout the vacations. All she wanted was to be back in college, this was the first time she wanted the vacations to end. During these holidays when she met her friends, she told them about the feelings she had for this guy. Some friends who knew him told her all the good things about him and they all teased her. She felt good, she felt happy, and she couldn’t stop blushing. She was turning from a girl to a young lady. She had the desire to see him again.

This next one year was one crazy for her. Whenever they crossed each other, he stared at her and she blushed. She looked at him and turned away when he looked back. She couldn’t control her smile when she saw him. Any occasion in college, may it be annual day, sports day or college trips when students from all classes would gather, her friends would tease her and his friends would tease him. She would be happy but she never had the guts to express her feelings towards him, or she was too young to understand those feelings. Then it was time he completed his PUC and left for Degree College and that was the end of this incomplete first love story of Pranita. They both shared an unshared expression of love, which she realizes now.

Pranita isn’t aware, she is resting on the sofa with her eyes closed and smile on her face. Ashok comes back to living Room after all his household works and is happy to see Pranita like that. He sits beside her and puts his hands around her. She is back to reality now and when Ashok asks what she was thinking about, she tells him the whole story and he smiles back saying “I am happy you didn’t talk to Abhinav, else you wouldn’t be with me right now.” She hugs him and says “I am happy too” 

The first & last meet...

This is a story of my friend I am going to narrate here. It’s about how we bow to our destiny even when we want to do something against it. We meet some people, we like them and we want to take the relationship forward but then comes destiny. If something is not meant to be, it will not happen and we are left helpless.

One colleague of mine is searching girls for marriage. He was at on-site for some years and his parents want him to get married and settle down. It is very difficult for the parents to find for match when the guy is in another country so he is forced to come back to India so that he can meet the girls and decide. He is good looking, earning well and hails from a decent family. It shouldn’t be difficult to find a girl for him.

He starts seeing the girls but he doesn’t find compatibility with most of the girls he meets. He is disappointed that he isn’t finding a proper match. The girls who like him, he doesn’t find anything common, girls he like have some other stories. Then one day his mother shows him a picture of a girl, he kind of likes her and wants to meet her. His mother warns him to wait as they have to get the horoscopes matched and then he can proceed but the priest is out of station so there is a delay. He doesn’t want to wait, he decides to go ahead and meet her. He makes arrangements for the meet through the mediator.

They had decided to meet in Cafe coffee day. He was there 15 minutes prior to the decide time and had booked a table for two. He was waiting for her and then exactly on time she arrived, he was impressed by her punctuality. She was wearing a salwar kameez, dressed traditionally and was looking very elegant. He liked her in a second. He offered her a seat and started the conversation. She also was participating but he sensed she wasn’t comfortable and there was something offbeat in her. He asked her what was wrong, was she comfortable and then she told him that while coming she had hurt her leg. He noticed her leg, she had a really bad bruise and her leg was bleeding. He rushed to check for first aid in CCD but they were out of stock, he asked her to wait and rushed on his bike to get first aid kit from a medical store. He was back in no time and cleaned her wound and tied a bandage. After all this dramatic first meet he felt a connection and he had done all that with his immediate instinct without even thinking twice. She definitely must have felt good about him but she might have also had the guilt of creating a scene on their first meet. They spoke for some more time and ordered a chocolate cake which the CCD guy served in one plate with two spoons. They were both shy to share and eat but yet were happy in a way. They saw a definite bond and were willing to take to next level. They wished to convey to their respective parents about their liking towards each other.

On the way back, it was raining heavily. He still continued to ride all drenched and

  he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He went back and told his mother about their meet and that he liked the girl but his mother had a different story all together and told their horoscope didn’t match so they cannot proceed. His mother was very adamant on horoscope. He doesn’t want to do anything against his mother’s wish. He could not believe this, only girl he liked and this thing called destiny was playing game. He was cursing the priest but felt helpless. His mother called the mediator and informed about the horoscope. He was disappointed.

He is confident that the girl also liked him. He still has her number saved in his contacts and is sure girl also hasn’t deleted his number. He remembers her often and says he cannot forget her ever. I felt bad for him and also the girl but guess they weren’t made for each other. There is definitely someone else waiting for him is what I could tell him at the end.

Raksha Bandhan

On this Raksha Bandhan, I want to express my gratitude towards my brother, the most humble person I have seen in my life by writing a blog dedicated to him.

From where do I start, a brother-sister relation is most beautiful in its childhood so I begin from there. From what I have heard from my parents, when my mom was carrying with me and whenever my brother was asked if he wants a brother or sister it seems he always said sister J and when I was born, it was past midnight and my four years old brother was awake and celebrating my birth jumping and screaming. Our childhood must have been very memorable. I don’t remember all of it but from the moments our parents have captured in photographs I can say we definitely must have had a good time. All I remember is he bullying me, not involving me in his games, not letting me play with his toys and me crying for all those things and me getting parent’s sympathy and making him get scolding for being a bad elder brother. The usual sibling thing.

Then as we grew up, my father got promoted and had to accept out of state transfer to some town in north India, my brother was in higher secondary by this time so for his better education my parents decided that he stays back here in Karnataka and we three would travel. It must have been difficult for both my parents and brother too but it was for his good they took this decision but the small little girl in me didn’t appreciate their decision, I wanted my brother to come with us, and I couldn’t stay without him. I cried so much on our first Raksha Bandhan not together that year. One of my friends from another kannadiga family had to be my brother for that day to console me.

After three years of staying away finally we were all living together. My god, we fought so much during this time, for remote, for food, for anything and everything, we sometimes fought without any reason. Running around the house hitting each other. I feel it so funny today but that time it was a do-or-die WWF situation. My mom was so fed up with us, she locked us in a room one day and told us to fight as much as possible but after an hour one of us should come out alive. We would fight with each other but also we would fight for each other. We never let anyone say a word about the other even if it were our parents. He was a very protective brother. We was always concerned about who I hang out with, who are my friends. He made sure I am safe wherever I am.

The most memorable days of us is the time when we stayed together in Bangalore. He was back from US and I had just moved to Bangalore. We decided we rent a house and stay so our parents could visit us often. We had pact, we wouldn’t cook in the morning on weekdays and it’s just the dinner we have at home. I enhanced all my cooking skills during this time and he was the victim. Sometimes when I got stuck at work, he would prepare dinner. On weekends, he went to play cricket in the morning, I would clean the house and while returning he would have breakfast packed and we would enjoy it watching TV and with a hot cup of tea. Those were the days I cherish the most. I was living with family and yet had all the space and freedom. Take bath at 4 PM, watch TV all day, call your friends home anytime, eat junk food all day and drink tea at 12 AM. He never said a word.

The most difficult phase of our life was when he met with an accident, a major one. But it was during this time when our bond became stronger. It was a Friday night, I was at home waiting for him to return from work, dinner was ready. He would usually be home by 9 PM, it was 9.30 PM he didn’t come. I thought he must be stuck in traffic and made a casual call to him. He said it’s raining heavily and he may reach in half an hour. It was 10.15 PM, I got a little worried and called him again, No answer. 10.30 PM and still nothing. At around 11 PM, I got a call from him and he asked to come down. He usually would call me down if he had bought something big for the house and to help him carry it upstairs. But this time he was lying in his colleague’s car with blood stains all over his dress and he couldn’t move. It was horrifying to see him like that. He described how he was hit by a bike and then came under a BMTC bus. We had to immediately take him a multi-specialty hospital, I was shocked I didn’t know what to do, my brain had frozen. 

I just went up, locked the house, carried my purse and sat beside him in the car. We then went to the hospital, they said they have to do MRI scan to know how injured he was. It took almost three hours for them to finish it and prepare the report. Only I know how difficult those three hours were. I couldn’t even call my parents during those odd hours and scare them. It was around 2 AM that the on-duty doctor came to me and my brother’s two colleagues and told us that the injury was major and he had a pelvic bone fracture and had to undergo a surgery. He also suggested I call elders in the family. It was time to call my parents. My mom answered the call after 2-3 rings in a panicky voice, I knew she couldn’t take the news, so I spoke to my dad and told him it was a minor accident but he needs to be admitted and asked them to take the first train possible.

After finishing all the hospital formalities his colleagues came with us till the ward and left. Then the rest of the night, we both couldn’t sleep. He was still in shock for what had happened, the accident scene kept flashing again and again in front of his eyes. He was cursing those few seconds of his life. He started questioning what if he couldn’t walk at all for rest of his life. Don’t know from where I got all the courage that day to console him, answer all his doubts, and give him hope, strength and support. I think god makes you strong during the tough time.

Next day my parents arrived, we had our moral support now. I felt a little relieved. By now the news had spread in his office and among his other friends. Only that day did I realize my usually silent brother had such a huge circle of friends. There was queue to visit him, his school friends, college friends, colleagues and our relatives all came to meet him. The watchman asked me if the patient was a celebrity or something. I replied with a smile and told him ‘YES, indeed he is a celebrity of some sort’. The day he got operated was his birthday, it was a rebirth for him. Now that he has completely recovered and the sportsman in him is back in action, this incident just feels like a bad dream.

Whenever it came to my marriage he would always say, it will be a wedding that will be remembered for years and he made it a reality. I am blessed to have him in my life. Whenever I need him, he is just a phone call away. I can’t thank him enough for things he has done for me and keeps doing for me. On this day, I wish him best of everything in life. May god bless him to be strong and courageous always. May he spread the love and peace that he always carries with him. Love you loads Anna. Hoping this gets me a special gift this year J

The father in my husband!!!

It’s been almost four years since we are married and we are blessed with a lovely baby girl :) she is 2 years old now. My husband and I work in the same company. We live with our in-laws and that’s why it’s easy for us to leave our child behind and go to work every day.

So one fine day, my husband calls me to the extension phone and tells me the good news that he has got an onsite assignment and he has to travel in a month and stay there for six months. I didn’t know how to react. Obviously I was happy for him it was his first time and he always had this aspiration. From the tone of his speech I was sure he was thrilled about it. So keeping the same momentum I said congratulations :) he hung up saying he has some formalities to be completed soon and he will catch up with me later.

Now I had the time to think and I was wondering what about me and my daughter. Should we travel with him or stay back here. I wouldn’t give up my job for six months for sure, but at the same time I couldn’t live without him back here for so long. The big question running in my mind was how he will stay without his daughter. He loves her so much, he is a doting father. His day starts with her and ends with her. There is no single day he has stayed away from her. But I thought he is a mature man, he has made up his mind, he has taken right decisions, and it is for the good.

On the day he had to fly, we all went to drop him to airport. We three, my husband, daughter and I were in one cab. We were an hour away from airport. I was busy checking if I have packed everything and haven’t missed and messed anything. After a moment, I saw tears in his eyes. That was the second time I ever saw him cry (first was when she was born). He was hugging his little angel who was asleep and isn’t even aware and that her dad will not be with her for next few months. It was such an emotional display of a father and daughter relationship. I knew it would be very hard for him. He couldn’t stop crying for few minutes and then he told me, it was most painful moment of his life so far. He made me take vows that I will take care of her to my best and be her dad and mom both for the next six months. I had tears in my eyes not because I will miss him but because he was going to miss his daughter miserably.

That day I saw a father in my husband. Till that day I always thought I loved my daughter more than he did but I was wrong. Now when he has gone there, he makes sure they have Skype calls every day. Its pleasure to see the excitement in both of them when they are talking. He talks to her more than he talks to me. Yes, my daughter is the other woman in his life :)